Best Bumper Stickers

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List of the Funniest Bumper Stickers In America.  You will find some wise ones.  But, you will also find some weird ones.  Most were noticed while driving in the Bay Area

  • I fish therefore I lie

  • I Have The Body Of A  God ... Buddha

  • If you outlaw evolution; outlaws will evolve

  • Chess players "mate" better

  • Constipated People Don't Give A shit.

  • That is so five minutes ago!!

  • If you can read this, thank a teacher

  • A book worth banning is a book worth reading

  • On a car in the Bay Area (CA) with a picture of George Bush: If only his dad withdrew earlier

  • Don't mess with Texas

  • I will mess with Texas

  • Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church

  • If You Drink Don't Park,  Accidents Cause People.

  • Who Lit The Fuse On Your  Tampon?

  • If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep  Your Mouth Shut.

  • Please Tell Your Pants  Its Not Polite To Point.

  • If That Phone  Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

  • My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student  Pregnant.

  • Thank You For Pot Smoking.

  • To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

  • If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

  • Impotence: Nature's Way Of  Saying "No Hard Feelings".

  • If You Can  Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

  • Horn Broken  ... Watch For Finger

  • It's Not How You  Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

  •  If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My  Ass.

  • You're Just Jealous Because The  Voices Are Talking To Me

  • The Earth Is  Full - Go Home

  • This Would Be  Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

  • So Many Pedestrians - So Little  Time

  • Cleverly Disguised As A  Responsible Adult

  • If We Quit Voting Will  They All Go Away?

  • The Face Is Familiar But  I Can't Quite Remember My Name

  • Eat  Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

  • Illiterate? Write For Help

  • Honk If  Anything Falls Off

  • Cover Me I'm Changing  Lanes

  • He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

  • I  Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

  • You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

  • I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me  To

  • Where Are We Going And Why  Am I In This Handbasket?

  • If Sex Is A Pain  In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong

  • Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

  • If You  Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]

  • Remember Folks: Stop Lights  Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

  • Guys: No Shirt, No Service  - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

  • If  Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The  Hut?

  • Necrophilia: That  Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

  • Ax Me About Ebonics

  • Body By  Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

  • Boldly Going  Nowhere

  • Cat: The Other White Meat

  • Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

  • Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That

  • Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

  • It'll be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber

  • Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

  • How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost

  • If You Can't Dazzle Them With  Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

  • Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

  • Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A  Fit ... Got It!

  • My Hockey Mom  Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.


  • All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

  • Some people are only alive because it  is illegal to shoot them

  • I  used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

  • WANTED: Meaningful overnight  relationship.

  • BEER: It's not  just for breakfast anymore.

  • o you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

  • I need someone really  bad...Are you really bad?

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder



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