Costello Buying a Computer

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Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? 
Costello: Thanks.  I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. 
Abbott: Mac? 
Costello: No, the name's Lou. 
Abbott: Your computer? 
Costello: I don't own a computer.  I want to buy one. 
Abbott: Mac? 
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou. 
Abbott: What about Windows? 
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? 
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows? 
Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows? 
Abbott: Wallpaper. 
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. 
Abbott: Software for Windows? 
Costello: No. On the computer!  I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? 
Abbott: Office. 
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? 
Abbott: I just did. 
Costello: You just did what? 
Abbott: Recommend something. 
Costello: You recommended something? 
Abbott: Yes. 
Costello: For my office? 
Abbott: Yes. 
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office? 
Abbott: Office. 
Costello: Yes, for my office! 
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows. 
Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? 
Abbott: Word. 
Costello: What word? 
Abbott: Word in Office. 
Costello: The only word in office is office. 
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows. 
Costello: Which word in office for windows? 
Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". 
Costello: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? 
Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.  
Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! 
Abbott: Real One. 
Costello: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them? 
Abbott: Of course. 
Costello: Great! With what? 
Abbott: Real One. 
Costello: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do? 
Abbott: You click the blue "1". 
Costello: I click the blue one what? 
Abbott: The blue "1". 
Costello: Is that different from the blue w? 
Abbott: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word. 
Costello: What word? 
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows. 
Costello: But there's three words in "office for windows"! 
Abbott: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. 
Costello: It is? 
Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. 
Costello: And that word is real one? 
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. 
Costello: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? 
Abbott: Money. 
Costello: That's right. What do you have? 
Abbott: Money. 
Costello: I need money to track my money? 
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer 
Costello: What's bundled with my computer? 
Abbott: Money. 
Costello: Money comes with my computer? 
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge. 
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? 
Abbott: One copy. 
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money? 
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. 
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money? 
Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT! 

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? 
Costello: How do I turn my computer off? 
Abbott: Click on "START".......... 

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