When Girls Get Drunk

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Recently, a group of girls were asked how do you behave when you get drunk.  Here are some of the answers:

 

  • WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.
  • WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
  • WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
  • IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
  • WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT
  • WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH.
  • WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
  • WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.
  • THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH GRADE TEACHER.
  • THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.
  • OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.
  • WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
  • WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
  • WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (er, or, the mop?)
  • WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."
  • WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.
  • OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.
  • WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP. (OR AT A FOOTBALL STADIUM)
  • WE BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR DRINK.
  • WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

NOT FUNNY

  • WE FIND OURSELVES WITH SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES WEEKS LATER
  • WE FIND OURSELVES PREGNANT WEEKS LATER

 

 

 

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