What men and women say mean

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  • What men and women say and what they really mean :-)

 What a woman says, what she really means...
 - I need = I want
 - We need = I want
 - It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
 - Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
 - We need to talk = I need to complain
 - Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
 - I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
 - You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
 - You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
 - I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
 - Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
 - This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
 - I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
 - I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
 - I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
 - Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
 - How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
 - I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
 - Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
 - You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
 - Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
 - Yes = No
 - No = No
 - Maybe = No
 - I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
 - I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
 - Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
 - Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
 - I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

 What a man says, what he really means...
 - I'm hungry = I'm hungry
 - I'm tired = I'm tired
 - Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 - Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 - Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 - Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 - Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
 - You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
 - What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
 - You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
 - Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
 - Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
 - I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!






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