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ACT to foster happiness, peace, prosperity, and tolerance in the Middle East
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What men and women say and what they really mean :-)
What a woman says, what she really means...
- I need = I want
- We need = I want
- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
- Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
- We need to talk = I need to complain
- Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
- You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of
PMS
- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
- I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture,
new wallpaper...
- I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to
hate
- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
T.V.
- Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
- Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
- Yes = No
- No = No
- Maybe = No
- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
- I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
- Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to
it
- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep
- I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
What a man says, what he really means...
- I'm hungry = I'm hungry
- I'm tired = I'm tired
- Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
- You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
- What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you
going through now?
- You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
- Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
- Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
- I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and
let's go!
More funny jokes are listed on the left hand side or listed in the Jokes page.
More entertaining content is featured in the Fun section.
