Rodney Dangerfields Best

| Home | Add | American Lebanese | | Fun & EntertainmentLebanese Books | Lebanon Index | Lebanese Tourism Attractions  |  Useful Links | Useful Tools | |

Funny Videos Fun Facts Interact Resources

Jokes Scenes Motivational Add/Contact
Get our updates on: Facebook | Google + | Twitter | Tumblr |
Check Out

My Work Break

Follow berro on Twitter

ACT to foster happiness, peace, prosperity, and tolerance in the Middle East

 

 

Rodney Dangerfield's Best

01. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy...I'd have had nothing to play with.

02. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

03. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

04. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came home early."

05. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning. I put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

06. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

07. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

08. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

09. I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born.

12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said,"I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times -three of those times I was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.

21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.

22. I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother!

 

 

 

 

More funny jokes are listed on the left hand side or listed in the Jokes page.

More entertaining content is featured in the Fun section.

 

Back | Home | Next

Up
At Last
Before and After the wedding
Best 10 Answering Machine Messages
Best GCSE answers
Best Lawyer Story
Best Sex Ever
Boss
Bridge to Hawaii
Busted
Call Girl
Californians
Cardiologist's Funeral
Children Stories
Christmas Carols
Chinese ENGLISH
Cleanse my sins
Complex Spelling
Computer Customers Complaints
Computer Terms for Women
Costello Buying a Computer
Court's Disorder
Chinese Detective
Chinese Wisdom
Culture and meaning
Definition of Politics
Definitions of a KISS
The Dial
Don't Take it Seriously
Driving Directions
Effects of Diamonds
Emoticons
Employers' Lingo
Evolution
Extremely Blonde
Five Stars Service
Free Sex
French Cultural Attactions
Frog's Princess Charming
Funny One Liners
Geek Office Slang
Gender Based Conversation Differences
Gender of the Computer
Great Night
Great Dog
Guitly Dreaming
Handsome Man for Lovely Ladies
Heroism in the Mental Hospital
Heroism and Devotion
Here We Are
How Computer Works
How to identify a mad cow
How to identify a rich man
Hotel Bill
Ideas About Wives
If women ruled the world
Issues Franšaises De Genre
IT Heights
IT New Year Greetings
Italy vs Europe
Job descriptions
Kids are quick
Kinds of Men
Lost Wife
Love Lust or Marriage
Lover's Picture
Making a Woman Happy
Mexican Oysters
Four Characters Password
Fun in Elevators
Funny Matrimonial Ads
Funny stupid responses
MBA Students
Men & Women Differences
Mental Asylum Selection
Michigan
Murphys Other Laws
My point exactly
Ladies Vs Real Women
Life Saving Preacher
Man and Woman's Communication Skills
Management
Message for girls
Mistakes Twists
Money and Government
Need 710
Never Felt Better
The Mother as a Vending Machine
No offense
One Liners
Only in America
Out of Office Auto Replies
Opposing Traffic
Pappu and his Teacher
Perks of Being of 50
Protocol of Work
Red Ferrari
Rejection Lines
Religion, Royalty & Sex
Salary Increase Request
Smart Answers
Smart Redhead
Smart Parrot
Surgeon and Mechanic
Socrates' Logic
Pascal is Out
The Perfect Couple
Pretty Ugly
Plunging stickman
Powerful Punctuation
Praying for Peace
Questions about Men
Remarkable Philosophy
Rodney Dangerfields Best
Saved
Screen Cursor Movers
Set Her Free
Six Types of Orgasm
Sex and Calories Burned
Side Effect of Alcohol
Signs that you live in the 21st Century
Six ways to catch a lion
Smart Kid
Stranded Internationals
Southern Medical Terms
Super Frog
Teacher Students Jokes
Tech Support
Tenth Husband
Thanks Mom!
True Gentleman
Tweety funny prayer
A Trusted Dog
Understanding Engineers
Volleyball Women
Wandering Bug
A way with words
Wedding Night
When Girls Get Drunk
When You Are Drunk
Why did the chicken cross the road
Why Most Professions Are Dirty
Why Women Live Longer
Wise comparisons
Witty Attorneys
What men and women say mean
Who Enjoys Sex More
Why is Honey Golden
Why Men Die First
Why teachers go crazy
Women's Age Geography
Women, Age, and Stories
Women Humor
World's Fastest
You know you are Lebanese when
You got a Male
You said what

 

  F        E

 

Surf more pages for the funniest video clips, most hilarious jokes, most interesting facts,......., fun games, quotes, and more useful and beneficial content.

 

*